The Change in You

By Talia Valderrama

Change freaks us out—probably even more than heights or even public speaking, but it’s the vague issue we don’t like thinking or talking about. Whether it’s moving to a new area, starting a new job, moving schools, losing someone you love, or ending/starting relationships. Change, whether it’s good or bad – comes with many mixed emotions.

Life is a journey and change will always be a part of it. However, people can get too comfortable or fear the idea of adjusting and having to move on. These experiences may seem black and white, such as deciding to eat breakfast or going for a run to be healthier. However, we need some sort of adjustment in the way we carry ourselves every day. This idea of change frightens us, as we never know exactly what we’re getting ourselves into [20].

At the start of this year I had no motivation, no aspirations, lost all inspiration, had no direction in life and I was pretty much stuck in a rut. Another day, another alarm switched off, another class missed. No motivation but to turn to the other side of the bed and lie there half asleep, with unanswered questions in my mind. Wondering how did I let myself feel like this and why did I have these feelings? This was how I felt at the beginning of the year.

I had lost all motivation to go to university. Even though I knew that my end goal was to finish University, I was afraid of what the next step in my life would be like after I graduate. I hid my feelings by trying to keep myself busy. My lifestyle was a continuous cycle of partying, work, and last minute assignments, followed by a complete lack of fulfilment.

However, at night my mind was always daunted with the very same feeling that I felt every morning. It was in my belief, and also my parents’ belief, that I would eventually move on and find a successful career in design. But how could I when I’m barely keeping up with my grades, and I can’t find any design internships to gain the experience I need for the design industry. I found it all so overwhelming that I became afraid. Afraid of moving on after University; afraid of having to make new friends; afraid of growing up.

The bravest thing for me was to get my act together and get over the fear of change. It was going to happen eventually and I couldn’t avoid it forever. It was a slow process but I had to surround myself with people who motivated me and wanted to see me achieve my goals. I started putting effort in my assignments and applying for design internships. Gradually I stopped feeling hopeless and became more motivated.

Luckily this year I was offered an opportunity that changed my life. I am now a junior designer for a company that I have always dreamt of working for. This encouraged me to graduate at the end of the year and push myself to do better. If I continued to stay in the rut I was in, and not overcome my fear, I would have been in the same depressing place without this dream job and left feeling unmotivated and hopeless.

I’m not saying that where I am right now in my life is perfect, but it is a lot better than where I was in the beginning of the year. I pushed my stubborn self and accepted the fact that change was eventually going to happen at the end of the year. I am astonished by everything that I have accomplished, from getting a paid internship to being eligible for graduation. The thought of finishing University and having to transition into ‘real adulthood’ affected the way I lived my life. Lucky for me I had awesome friends and family who never gave up on me, and remained by my side. They pushed me and supported me through the positive decisions I was making towards this transition.

I’ve now realised that coping with change isn’t very hard. We can’t alter the way our brains work, but we can use their quirks to our advantage. By shifting the way I think, it allowed me to experience all sorts of change, which was not as scary as I originally thought. After accepting change, you learn not fear it as much, and you actually start to grow from it. “However, getting to this point is easier said than done, but it requires persistence and determination in order to succeed [21].”

Successful people have learnt to overcome fear and to take risks. Life is a journey and change will always be a part of it. However, people can get too comfortable with their current situation or they fear the idea of adjusting and having to move on. We can say we are different people, but what differentiates one another are major experiences and decisions that we make as individuals to better our lives. Choices are decisions that help change our lives and shape us uniquely as individuals.

If you truly want to change the way you feel and think towards your fear, it all starts in your head. “To ignite change, you need to do it yourself first [22].” Get over the fear, stop shrouding yourself in negativity and clear your mind. You need to realize that new ideas come from trying new solutions in your mind and changing how you think. Eventually you’ll be able to figure out the rest of the plan at your own speed.

[20] Ferrazzi, K. (2014). Managing Change, One Day at a Time. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved 21 September 2016, from https://hbr.org/2014/07/managing-change-one-day-at-a-time

[21] Johnson, E. (2015). How To: Change Yourself in Positive Ways. SUCCESS. Retrieved 21 September 2016, from http://www.success.com/article/how-to-change-yourself-in-positive-ways

[22] Baroncini-Moe, S. (2016). Change The Way You See Fear And Change Your Life. Lifehack.org. Retrieved 21 September 2016, from http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/change-the-way-you-see-fear-and-change-your-life.html